Tom Branch - Roads of Faith

Well I am an uncle now. She is a cute lil darlin. I just hope that my brother can bring her a better life than what me and him grew up with.

There has been some good and some not so good moments this week. My faith is empty. In fact I run away from anything godly right now. I have been living in a shell halfway between my old ways and new ways. I do not want to come out. I do not want to get hurt anymore. I want it all to go away. I want to feel that things happen for a reason and not go on forever.

I chose not to go to church today. Then again I wanted nothing godly in my life today and maybe even tomorrow. When it comes I have said a breif prayer of thankfulness but that is as far as it goes. If I am doomed to hell then it matters not if I follow or not doesn't it? I don't know. I am tired of not knowing and seeing only despair. I am tired of being treated as an outcast among christians. The standards are set to high.

It seems that, from what I have seen, that folks only want perfect people and not human. No errors and flawless. No one wants to grow with anyone. they only want the answeres delievered and do not want to seek them. I seek and find not. I find only myself back at square one.

Then in contrast I see so many folks like my best friend that live a life of do what they want when they want and limited compassion. So in christ and not in, everyone is so self consumed that when those who really seek help, friendship, companionship, anything do not find it becasue thay are a burden on society. they are blamed for everything and noe one takes the time to find out or know or understand or for the hell of things just ask the person a few things.

I know there are folks worse off than I as some you try to listen to but they are closed off. Some if yes is their own fault yet however when society works like it does I cannot blame them. They are kept that way and no one wants them to move onward.

I think God is out there but man has messed him up. And man fails man so often. Even at church. Nice folks, but there are few that are really enough to call friends or well enough a christian.

Well on to happier thoughts. Since the christans I know do not want to walk the walk...shallow. Yes I said it, I feel they are shallow. They look for perfection.

Oh happy thoughts...its camera season again. Time to get behind the lens somehow. Broke but I will do it. I may restart my photo blog. Who knows.

I love 80's music and the internet...it has made many a night go well.

Uncle Tom....I guess I gotta get a cabin and read a book to see what it means haha.

1 Comments:

Jason Ramage said...: Well, if it helps at all, Brian and I both found Sojourn to be a very difficult place to get to know people for at least the first year or two as regular attenders (more accurate to say it was virtually impossible). We were both involved with Intervarsity at UofL too, so I guess that also made it more difficult to get tied into a second group of people. But I've always felt like most of the "cool" sojourn people are putting up a front. That's why I refuse to wear black :)

But at the same time, I don't want to judge anybody or consider myself better than them. One of the things I've always liked about Sojourn is that peoples' sinfulness was "out there" and plain to see, even though it's not pretty. I did think it was funny when someone at community group tonight commented that one of the things they liked about sojourn is that people don't front. :)

On the contrary, I would sometimes hang out with my cousin's Catholic youth group on retreats or whatever and even thought nearly all of them were in high school and I was 21 or 22, I felt accepted with them. That made a pretty big impression on me because they were just being themselves, like Christians should. (That's one small part of the longer story you asked about, which I'll be posting on my blog sometime soon.)

I'll be praying for you. (and I'm not just saying that... I'm not good at doing it every day, but once or twice a week I manage to make time to pray for friends and relatives.)

Jason; Tuesday, April 18, 2006 12:10:00 AM

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