Sittin at the crossroads in a nice lawnchair just watching the traffic on both sides and seeing what I would need to pack for the rest of the trip. At that point I was so very ready to veer off the path and go my own way, which was not too far from my old ways but none the less I was ready to walk a different path.

Yet I think I just saw a road in the middle of it all that others may have denied me for so long. And last night I was brought to tears very fast when I read a blog that finally see there is someone that understands.

The hard part is that this road will have pain and lots of it. But it does not seem to be a meaningless pain as was the path I have been on. I am now thinking my old ways and then then middle ground, I will take neither of those roads.

But last ngiht I took some time and searched a few blogs. I stumbled upon one and it brought me to tears very fast. It was such a releif to have seen it. It has gotten me thinking about a few other things. But not only once, but twice did he say something I have been longing to hear. Something that no one else has never said outloud. It was said that it is NOT about a few prayers and simply leaving it at the foot of the cross

I was in tears. In fact to finish reading I had to wipe away more tears. I even had to turn off the music playing. I have been told to just leave it at the foot of the cross so many times as if it were a quick fix. But also saying that it is not that simple it is a long and painful road.

That is something I picked up on after reading/listening to The pursuit of holiness, that we really have to leave the old. There is more to this post I read. But it went straight to my heart. Finally I felt valid in my thoughts. I do not know if it were from God or man, yet here it was in front of me. Telling me I was right to think that, yet the road gets more difficult from here. It still said the fundamentals of it is to take it to God. So it still had biblical grounds.

So I may not be at the crossroads much longer. But the path I was on will be different as it seems something has changed.