Last night was one nice long prayer. I think I am starting to see a few things. I know that I mean well but everytime here for the last few years it seems I have tried to better myself or put myself in a position for change like school or a new job etc. But it seems my way isnt working. And with God calling me to whatever he is, I am starting to feel that my plans might interfere with his. So last night I came to the conclusion thatmy ways, my dream, and my desires are not working or leading me to where God wants me to be.

So I asked to make my dreams, desires, and my ways to be that of God's. May I ant his will be done, not mine. WHich means letting go and just following for a while. I have no idea where to go from here, no goals or dreams to mold life...but to just be and follow until that direction is found.

I feel better, I feel different.