Such a relational day

Friday, August 04, 2006
This is such a great verse.

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.
Romans 12:2 (New Living Translation)

This I got from the workbook for the Pursuit of Holiness. Which I love and hate that workbook. It will ask some deep questions and then some of the stupidest face value questions I have ever heard. The kinds that tend to throw you off track every time into a blank direction. So I mark those answers in as the stupidest questions. I actually write it is a stupid question as the answer then the next questions is deep and written seriously. It's kinda funny I think.

I am reading 4 books at once. I have read a lot this week alone. My reading, bible time, prayer, and meditations are up this week. Which is a great sign. But there is one bad sign.

I have recently become convicted of envy which has a side order of jealousy, frustration, and anger. Pretty much seeing folks at work, namely the new photographers, move on and get positions while I remain stuck at where I am at and not being able to obtain any goal I set for. When I should be happy for them I am angry at them and don't want anything to do with them because they got to be somewhere I would have liked to be while I suffer physically at my current position.

I was in an ok mood all day yesterday and then after I saw them on my way out the door I became upset. But I was able to think through it and come to a reasonable place with things, at least acknowledging I have some envy to deal with. Even that it is beyond envy now. But this is one thing that I will need to work in my journey now. It is defiantly a matter of the heart.

Last night I was able to get out with a friend and went walking. It did a lot of help. I felt even better than I did before. At least being able to air out my concerns and have someone listen. Even his encouraging words were actually encouraging this time. Typically when he tries to encourage me as such, I do not take them as encouraging. But this time, I could see that.

Then I come home and discover roommate issues. One as well has been convicted of selfishness lately, as have I (pride), and then the other has some issues I am now concerned with. But with the selfish roommate (that just sounds wrong, but I can't give out names on here) we talked for a few and that with itself was amazing. I could see work being done in both of our lives. The other one we really need to sit down and encourage and love on him. I am not going to be a nazi but it is definite that there are some matter of the heart to contend with. I am not mad at him or anything, but I am concerned with for him.

So last night was a very different night. It was a very relational day. Went to work, got angry, went home, and then things ran its course. But today is Friday, errands day and pay day...So time to get out into the world and do stuph! Yes I spelled it that way on purpose.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar