Looking back this week has been a tough week. it has been emotional and stressful. In fact tonight was good, It was much less stressed and just got a good time to chill out and rest a lil. To accomplsihment was doing the partner directories for church. They turned out so much better than i originally planned.

I have been able to get back into some scripture but seemed to still go back to pleasing myself in many ways again. It gets hard to think of others many times. Especially thinking of God.

What a long week. I am not sure what this week is ahead of me. Well Wednesday I have an interview for a great position. It is only art time but it would be teaching the very same photography 1 class I took at the community college. That would be a great return to photography. But I stil pray that I seek not hte job but that of God's will. I hate getting myself all nice n happy thought filled when then it comes crashing down with a no later. So we shall see.

In light of my revelations from last week, I may hold off on them or add to them...who knows I might even just come up with a book n it....self published online of course.

In light of it all, it will be and is a great transformation. And I mean great not as in supa fly cool wonderfullness, I meant great as in vast, deep, heavy...a process. Nothing simple that's for sure. And most of that is my rebellious human nature. I would rather serve or please myself than to call upon God.

Last week was wierd, there were times I wanted to go running to God to protect me from whatever it was, and then there were times that I wanted to be left alone to do my thing. Kinda odd how that wokrs huh?

Oh I had a wild dream again last night. I can't recall most of it but I was a theif or there were some gangs after me, something about it raining and then seeking shelter in a mall, and something about an 18-wheeler truck and the bad guy behind it all was in it. Oh well who knows.

Last ngiht I did something and now my shoulders/back muscles hurt like crazy.

I think I will go grab some good God tme before bed. He has given me much this week to reflect upon. I know things can be done, things will change, just not of my own power, only his.