Such a long week...

Monday, July 03, 2006
Last week was a draining week. It was full of many emotions. With death, birth, farewells, serving, cleaning, moving, roommate issues and even work.

A few spiritual days as well. My faith right now is on a rollercoaster. I can be reading and being in a spiritual state and then go off sinning in a mtter of minutes, sometimes in the middle of reading or pondering.

I have not prayed or really been reading much lately. How I can go to walking towards godliness and jump off back into my own ways.

Much is on my mind. So very much. And it is almost discouraging.

I have been listening to some of Mark Driscoll's stuff and one of the other pastors from Mars Hill...it is just too convicting that I have very little emptional reaction to it. Its just powerful.

I am trying to get in touch with a few others to reach out and speak to them about my current state of faith. It is not good.

I have a dream, a vision not of mine own but that of what God wants me to be...at least that is what I believe.

Yet there are too many idols in my life that keep me from it all...many indeed.

Right now I am just talking of whatever comes into mind.

I think I might change the header graphic.....still keep it a journey seeking...but it is a path of intimacy and repentance.

I dunno, just alot running through my mind right now.

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“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:5-6)  listen to chapter  (Read by Max McLean. Provided by The Listener's Audio Bible.)

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar