Sunday, February 26, 2006
Well after standing in line waiting to talk to folks and only getting in barely two senteces I left Sojourn feelin unconnected by all once again. I am growing tired of this. And the roomates were gone so the place is all mine. I love a good sermon followed up by aloneness.......insert heavy sarcasm here.
But i wateched some bloopers and a few episodes pf one of my fav shows. Laughed alot and feeling better. Much better. But I lost the focus I wanted to have on god. I love to laugh. Its great exersize and it just brightens up one's day. I hate that a fictional TV family becomes more a family than those I hold dear to me or others in church. Anyways there is much going on but I do beleive that i just need a fiction break. I may have been putting too much in understanding and coming to terms with a few things, many convictions and coversations and books....all so many things, so many open doors that remain unclosed and undealt with that I need some closure, or I might just be overwelmed. I need a few good laughs, I need a night or two out with friends. I think I will start reading the Narnia books as it does have some deep messages in them but I need something where I can imagine and not think. I am tired of thinking. I keep coming back to this place where I feel there is no connection and I am back alone in my walk. When I feel I need others the most is when I have that lack thereof. I do have an idea of a script for the movie fest. That should keep me goin with some creativity. I just need some expression and an audience to hear it. Otherwise I might as well talk to myself. It's not about understand or expressing, it's like being rich...what good is it if you have no one to share it with? I want to share but I feel isolated. Well tomorrow may bring a new day and a new life...well starting to fix one major issue on my heart. Tomorrow I will go pick up a treadmill and I can start walking on it and hopefully start loosing weight, reducing stress, and just do something. I hope that this will be the first of a great change coming. Then after my health starts getting underway I hope to change or add the focus to finances. I do not know if I will seek counseling or not. It can't hurt but I don't know where to begin. I don't want to know. |
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links.tom links.other sojourn.blogs blogs.other blogroll.christian Thy way, not mine, O lord Thy way, not mine, O Lord, However dark it be; Lead me by Thine own hand, Choose out the path for me.
Smooth let it be or rough,
I dare not choose my lot;
Take Thou my cup, and it
Choose Thou for me my friends,
The kingdom that I seek
Not mine, not mine the choice ~Horatius Bonar |
1 Comments:
Dr. Branch,
Tom, I'm right there with you on a lot of stuff. I know we've talked about some of it before, but I just wanted to say that Bryan and I are here if you need someone to break the isolation. We could probably (definitely) use that too. Don't hesitate to call or email either of us.
And I admire your getting a treadmill. i wish I had more discipline in that area. You rock, Tom.
Love,
Your sister,
e.
ps- what community group are you in?
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