Where am I spiritualy? I think it's just like eating out at dinner. I am drinking alot of water. Well the glass is getting empty and I am not asking the waiter for a refill. And until I do that, it will remain empty. That is where I am at right now.

Now I had many questions as to how I got there but that's where I am at. But I think that where much of my issues lately are at are with the fact of many open doors and no closure. RIght when all this happened about two weeks ago, near two and a half now, I shared my story in my accountability group. And it seems I opened a few things and did not close them off.

At the same time I was reading some books and listening to a few sermons where several new convictions took me and then the book really seemed to hit home on a few areas I needed work. So I opened up many doors and none of them were shut or worked through.

This would explain my senese of accomplishment being zero. At least now I know where the issue started for me to at least work through this. I am tired of the anger and frustration mounting. But if old scars were re-opened then I must do more than bandage them up.

It is like an old friend you know you should stay away from...well that friend is back and I can't seem to shake it. If anything this shouls give more than enough reason to take it to the cross and back into God's hands.

More to come. It feels good to get a clear thought out of my head for once lately.