The more I think about it, the more I see that I am an angry man. Just angry. At what? I dunno. But I am quick to anger. Yet I cannot stop thinking or seeing past myself to look at it.

My faith lately is centered around me seeking God...good? Well I am seeking God yes but no not good at all. Why is God not my center and my all?

Too many thoughts for me right now. I need to sort them out.

Was invited to another wedding. Which is cool. I am starting to like weddings actually. I will take anight off of work to be there. I really want to be there a part of something...give me a chance to dress up.

I am angry with my weight. I really want a treadmill. I would say need but there are alternatives. but with no one to hold me accountable or care about my physical health, I want the treadmill to walk during these times I need some thinking time.

Since I am well a large guy I get to pay more money for a treadmill. Everything is more expensive when you are fat. I am not fat, well I am, but I think I carry it well. I do not think i am meant to be fat as I know I can be limber, well sitting indian style etc for a big guy I think I do really well.

But I am angry.

I guess alot at myself, frustrated actally. Money is not well off and my health.............I just feel like cussin or something. But I don't. I need to sort this out. Get things going.

I do look forward to the wedding though.

I am an angry man. That is all