02-14-2006

Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I hate V-day. But this year I think I will ignore all the sinning going on. Wow think of it. there will be so many compromises and well stuff happening. And I won't be one of them hahhha. My sins will be normal working sins. Still as bad I know. but if I were to be human and lessen my sins this is how I would do it.

I am slowly getting back to par with my eating. Today will be a long day at work as I hope to get lots done, as there is LOTS to do. I am thinking more on God as I have not been with this weekend. But I never felt a lack of his presence either.

So hopefully I can get into the better eating habits now than start back to bad foods. This can only be a good thing, eat out less (save $$$), eat at home more (eat healthy). all that funn stuff.

Then I get my taxes back this week. I pray that i not let greed get me again. I keep trying to see how I can spend it. When I know there are things I should do in order to repair credit and save money. yet I do not o them. I get consumed with greed and wants that i get lost and even lost in focus from work and everything else. So I hope that I can stay away from ebay today at work.

I am still pondering over what my calling is. I do not think I am more of a leader type but mroe of a servant or support type. I like to keep the system running and keep things together more than I like driving the bus. I just need some sit down time with God to think a few things out, or just let things come with prayer.

I still know I have some anger to work out, road rage in particular. I need to learn patience. Anyways those are notes of me. Where life is so when or if I ever go back and read this I can see where I was at this season in life. Where do I go from here?

Oh yeah no spellchecker, not yet anyways.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar