Just another Friday

Friday, October 07, 2005
Here at work I sit but only my normal schedule. I hope to adjust afew things to get out of here in good time. I pray, well I should but I feel too selfish when I pray like that.

I do miss the intensity I had for a desire for transformation. This weekend will be a start back down that path. I di get a book tonight from Max Lucado, something about thirst. It looks pretty cool and has been on my wanted reading list for some time. It looks to be a quick read.

Tonight's class was cancelled which I guess was ok excapt I did not find out until I was there waiting. But really I did get out into some fresh air after the day warmed up and I did feel the pressure for time and I got a few things cleaned up around my aparatment. So good did come of it. But there is so much more to clean. It is not cleaning, I somewhere fell off the path and got sidelined with faith and everything. I was not on top of things and they got behind.

Some steward I am huh? I really need a disconnected evening away from everything where I can focus and concentrate on where I am and pray, really pray and connect with God, try to hear what he may be saying to me.

He may have been trying to tell me something here lately, but I have been deafened but not deaf. God has me here for a reason...and all I know is that i feel a deeper desire to know him better and draw closer to him, yet my sins are well let's call them a prodigal addiction. It makes sense. We all must have a prodigal sin.

I think that would make a perfect topic next.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar