Still no word from the other job. But at least not knowing does mean I am still in the running. If it were no then I am sure I would have already heard word by now. Tonight at group was cool. Was a great time to hang out. Chilled out with Brandon from HOPE and a few of the ol gang. Yet I was still ofesett by knowing I was about to go into work in a little bit. Now I am here trying to get ready for what seems to be a busy night.

Now for the GOD factor...I so want to work for GOd and not man. Yet I forget and work for the other all the time. It is hard for me to be a steward and purveyopr of his word here at work. I just do not defend it even when what has been said here has enraged me. I do not defend God. A part of this is me not knowing alot or able to get anyone to understand etc so things are well...I sorta shrug them off and avoid suffering....well I suffer internally instead.

I am still having difficulty letting go and waiting for God's will. Knowing that for now he has me in a situation whereas I do suffer spiritualy and physically and yet all I want to know is when will I be delivered from this? I keep on keeping on the best I can day by day, but it is tough and I do not see a way to fight through this other that getting out. Yet I know God is with me. And I do not want to loose that.