I suck...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Yeah I suck, I am a failure I walk away instead of towards Christ. I feel as if at times Satan has helped build a vortex in my apartment in which sucks me into a world of my own. Into a world where I love myself too much where I car about me more than anyone else.

Yet I still want to run back to God. Just not enough. There are black holes that I get lost in. And then I suck. Sitting here now typing this I feel that black hole, emtpy, godless hole...

...SO I will walk away from this now and try again tomorrow, hopefully the hole will close by then and I can be good again.

God does not deserve this, me treating him like this.

I suck at my faith at times, what more can I say. I wished it would all go away, I want to "become" rather than "be"

2 Comments:

Blogger Jason Ramage said...

Hey Tom,

You have been blog-tagged. Now you must create a post in which you will not talk about how you suck, but rather you will discuss five things you miss. This can be from childhood, high school, yesterday... whatever. After doing so, you must blog-tag four people who have not yet been tagged!

So long!
Jason

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 4:56:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Wow a man is goin through some stuff and all you can say is tag? Well We know that you do not read my blog as this was already answered in a previous entry!! hahah go find it....caution you must READ to find it!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 6:32:00 PM  

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar