Yesterday I got some great news that had me in a very productive state at work. There is a photographers position opened at work. This is very RARE as they almost never come open. If anything it was a great opportunity to at least get my foot in the door. Even if I don't get the position I at least know that I tried and took the first steps. Which is so far just as fulfilling. I do hope I get it but for now it's all good.

I have realized even though I really want to be there and help some people out I can only help so much. And that is when I need to take it to God in prayer. I can't help after minds get closed off at some point. But I can still be a great friend, as great as one can be. I usually get upset that i cannot reach through to folks like this. But that is once again another time that i tend to take things into my own powers rather than relying on Gods.

I still seem to not look upon others with equal eyes. And treat them differently than I should. Why can't I treat everyone like people? I guess there is more to work on and getting over this selfish pride.

Also this summer I seemed to have developed feelings for a friend. But now God has answered me and really enlightened me on the issue. I need to be her friend. That's what she needs right now. And my desires and feelings for her might have been taking away from the same for God. I wasn't doing for him as much as I should have. I don't think that is all there is to the answer, but I know for now it is time to realize I too need space for growth and if anything ever gets serious I need to know that whatever woman that comes into my life for that role, must be strong in faith, and equal in the walk. I can't always be a leader. But I do always want to be a friend. But I do not want to diminish what I have for Christ.

Actually I think I might later do a whole blog on relationships and God. Well about my quest to find a special someone and then Christ at the same time. There is plenty more for me to learn and grow into before anything of that magnitude can occur.

Anyways that's a topic for another time. But for now things are still going well. There are still many issues I am working through on understanding them.