Just not sure whats up with today. Part of me just wants to hide in the bible and pray all day, take the elevator to heaven and sit at a coffee shop near the gates and talk to some folks. If they meet me there I'll buy.

Today is a much better day. Just alot in thought going on. I had a nice batch of insomnia last ngiht so I watched the Omega Code. It was a free download form the internet. But it was small and was not the best quality. But still enough to watch. Now it was all fantasy about the bible code stuff. But there is one lesson that can be learned and applied I whsed that I could do. it is the "faith of a child"

Only then can great things begin to occur. Accepting his will and all that good stuff. And giving up everything. I was thinking about that alot to seeing how many folks at sojourn we have in missions and some who make a life out of it and have nothing.

From what we see in the bible is who gives his life and has no possessions, well good things come to them. But my selfishness is hard to let go of. Don't know why as there are so many times I have had to go without...but now I cant say no...anyways that's such a larger issue at hand.

But thinking how much I could give up.....scares me. But right now I just want his will to be done. With feelings of love, frustrations, guilt, sorrow, and extreme joy crossing over into so many aspects of my life right now is well overwelming to an extent. Can this be considered a crossroad in life? Or for me a plate of spagetti with so many forks in the road. Hard to say which path goes where at this point.

But today is bettter. I am still working through the things pointed out to me in scripture, prayer, and emails. So still working through it. But seeing what I am fighting for...my soul, relationships, and more.

It's like one saying I always had, but now I think I have to revisit it...

"Never open the box unless you are ready to deal with the contents inside."

Well the box is ajar and it's time to finish opening up this puppy. How open shall things become?