I am still recovering from yesterday. The sermon was great and there is so much that tied in to my meeting prior to sermon. I read the bible a few times, and even did some serious prayer twice. And I need more of this.

In prayers I have been getting more open and facing things. I am facing several sins that I know about or even don't know of. So far there are two that know of my darkest sin. And it looks like there is a prayer answered as soon I may get to embark on a challenging journey to look deeper than the surface sins and look deeper into my heart.

I still cannot believe that I am so self conceited that I put myself higher than the “punk kids at fas-food joints” this is not the right attitude for a christian. Who we are called to be loving and caring and spread the word yet I stay away from these folks as I deem them below me etc. This could have been a chance to show someone Christ.

I guess a part of this is the fact I am still very weak, then I may always be weak on this side of the clouds. Yet I know that i can still be drug down, I do not feel secure enough in my faith that I am strong enough to advertise correctly. In fact that might not even be the best words for it either.

In the sermon notes there was a question for reflection:
Am I simply acknowledging that I need to change and I want to change or am I wholly trusting in Christ?

It's all getting very convicting...am I trusting enough in and of Christ? More to work through I guess. So much more to work through.