 Wednesday, March 21, 2007
***Please note this was written in poetic form. I needed a way to get my feelings out. This is how I feel right now. God has left me alone in my walk by man and him, he has hidden his face from me, he leaves me angry, frustrated, and hurt...I feel he may wish me condemned. A few people have emailed and commented on this blog, but the feelings are still there. This is a curse upon me and to difficult to work through of my own power, yet I cannot cal upon god's power. ***
Where are you? I see you here and there But not with me I do not feel you I live downcast. You say seek and you shall find I have sought and I have not found. I feel alone I do not feel you So alone I feel How can I trust? My cross I cannot bear alone I wish to take upon your yoke But you will not help me take off mine. Humbly I came to you or so I felt with my heart And now only feel that you wish to condemn me to hell Is so far all I am getting in return. For hours each day I hear only my voice The voice you despise. Even in crowds I am not there. When I am weakest where are you? The red man finds me Very often he does. So I go onward living living only for me The very one thing you ask me to give you The only thing you gave me And you ask leaving me with nothing. Where are you? I cannot step off the cliff without you My faith is very little And running lower Yes I have heard this life would be hard Nothing was said about lonely nothing was said about self inflicted pain. I did not want to believe psalm 77 I wanted to take up my sins As it was me who hid from you But no it was right all along How long will you hide from me? Your words are not comforting any more Even listening to the red man He is not satisfying Both leave me without I cannot take solace in your words right now I feel empty with you I feel empty without you This is why I feel condemned You give me many desires to change desires to grow desires to become desires to become family with all your children And you leave me wandering. Angry frustrated hurt and alone. Maybe one day I can ask to seek you again Until then forgive me but I cannot call upon your name Until I know again that I have not been orphaned
posted by Tom at 5:17 AM
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Special.Collections journey.tom who.said.what  // said...
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links.tom links.other sojourn.blogs blogs.other blogroll.christian Thy way, not mine, O lord Thy way, not mine, O Lord, However dark it be; Lead me by Thine own hand, Choose out the path for me.
Smooth let it be or rough,
I dare not choose my lot;
Take Thou my cup, and it
Choose Thou for me my friends,
The kingdom that I seek
Not mine, not mine the choice ~Horatius Bonar |
1 Comments:
Thought you might like this site: www.TheHopeWithin.org
It is based on 1 Peter 3:15 and it is a very interesting way to share our faith without using too much of our time.
Feel free to add the link to your blog if you want. If you do, let us know so we can properly thank you for helping!
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