I am stuck between a cross and a hard place.

"The old cross is a symbol of death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down the road had already said good-bye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing, it slew all of the man, completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more." A.W. Tozer, the Best of.

I know I have quoted this before. But this is where my soul wants to go. But in the midst of it all my heart is not at the same place. This story is familiar.

..."I’ve obeyed all these commandments,” the young man replied. “What else must I do? Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions...Matthew 19:20-22 (New Living Translation)

I am right where this guy is. The weight of my cross is heavier than I ever could have imagined. I am come to the shadow of my cross over these last few years. And I see it and run. I hear what God asks me to surrender and I run. It hurts to even ponder it.

Labels: A journey becoming