Today has been quite a day. It has been productive. It has been contemplative. Not as much as it needed to have been, but thoughtful as well.

In loosing focus we all feel we are further away from our goals. Or in sin we feel further away from God. ANd the distance grows and opens the door into others sins and negative feelings. But if we were to stop and look back, we might see a small glimpse of the larger picture. That's what has happened to me.

I saw all of the trees but none of the forest. Just like the time I walked up the Appalachian Mountain. I never made it ot the top mind you, but I did make it far. At one point I stoped to enjoy the beauty. But I had no idea how far I had gone or left to go. At one point I looked back and saw a small clearing of trees and there it was the top of one of the mountains!!! I gasped as it took my breath away. I might have the photo around here somewhere.

I was still surrounded by heavy hills and LOTS of trees everywhere. But I did not see progress. Al;l but for that moment. Then I got enough in me to walk even further and I did. Life is just like that. We don't know how far along we are until we take a minute in the muck to look around.

So today I saw that my finances were not bad as I thought I had made them. I miscalculated so now my new budget starts perfectly for week 2!!! And today I got out walking at the gym. But I had to walk up 7 flights of stairs first then walked for a good half or or so. And to top it off I went to the store for some food and walked alot more!

In fact I put in a good two and a half miles easily today. Not counting what I have at work tonight. And drinking 3 liters of water!

I was mucking around, but I see that things are getting back slowly to where they needed to be. I Lost focus of who God is calling me to be. Strong not weak. I see that last night I came to another "ah ha!" moments. It hit me that yes I pray for forgiveness ALOT and repentance I know that can only come from God, but I never ask him to heal me.

I forgot that he heals.

Being strong means being there for others. For God, widows, orphans, friends, family, strangers, homeless. Being strong is not rebelling in sin. The strong still sin yes! But the strong do not turn left when God tells them to turn right just moments before.

I fear the cross as I know it will be hard when I decide to completely carry my cross. It is heavy as a mountain.

More to come...