I have been sick this week. It keeps getting better and then worse. Then again so has everything else for me lately. Especially my faith and my walk. I worked through a very hard chapter and saw how many idols and god replacements I have in my life. They all hit hard and all at once. They overwhelmed me. And for this week I have been giving up that life in which I was seeking, to return to many old ways and wallow in it. It's just too much for me I feel. That and being sick sucks.

How can I go onward if these idols and replacements are in my life? Doesn't that make me a double agent? Playing both sides? But the dreams I have had lately tells me otherwise. It seems that I still desire that life with a godly path.

The next part of the book deals with the cross. This is where things start to turn around I guess. This is the hard part of it all. How?