At least new perspectives.

Even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:33 (New International Version)

A call away from ourselves and for others not for our own sake and only for their sake in order to glorify God. It still needs one thing, the power and intervention of the Holy Spirit. I would hate to try to save people and get disappointed, but the heart behind this verse for me is putting away our self to others for God.

He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’ Deuteronomy 8:17 (New Living Translation)

This comes to me a very humbling verse. Even applied to todays circumstances. For me this verse comes down from God and routes around you back towards him. It is also missing self but does it in such a way that it comes to you and comes right back to God without making any stops.

How often do we forget that things occur for a reason yet we wanna take all the credit. Even at that would be ok yet the heart issue here is un-thankfulness and not acknowledging God and all he has done and does for us.

C.S. Lewis has declared there are four loves. Yet I ponder are there several angers? At work getting frustrated or even if one were to stub their toe typically a quick burst comes out or if one gets cut off in traffic. But it lasts a few moments and then is away. Until the next time. Then there is anger at a friend or loved one or stranger. And that seems to last much longer.

Yet one thing is these days. I hate being angry. It hurts now more than ever. I never had it hurt like this. I know that only bad can com of it. I never felt this way about it before. I often looked at it as a right. But I cannot anymore. Even with road rage and getting cut off in traffic, I don;t feel as well afterwards.

1 Corinthians 10:33 even tells me to get over myself for others and forgive, let go of the anger, give that unto God.

Just as in Numbers when Moses was leading them into the promised land they were being put through trials to test their hearts. Much as does anger it shows what is in one's heart. Many times just like the people being led into the promised land I think that if I am struggling this much now how much harder will it be when we get there?

Except we have been told that it will be different and better. And come to think of it we are being led by the holy spirit unto a Promised Land. And we so more than often forget about this. But we are led just as they were those great many years ago. And in the middle of these trials we face here and now the focus is on our sols (our selves) and it speaks more about us how we respond to the trials and not the event itself.

In fact everything here on earth is a trial in preparations for the other side of the clouds. Even the good things like relationships and marriage. I am learning so much more about it as time goes on. Even the “Suitable helper” aspect, I still miss the point many times. I know I am not the only one but how many of us think of it as someone to be there for us after a long day of work, or someone to love and serve each other. But we will not be married in heaven yet two join as one here on earth.

How is this a trial? It compels us to live for others and to glorify God. It is not about finding a mate. It is about surrendering self to be there for one another. In heaven we will be worship[ping God all the time. That is very selfless. So how can we even turn something as great as marriage into something the amplifies and glorifies God? IN the middle of it will we still seek God? Will we still put him above our spouses always? Put him above ourselves even still? Good or bad marriage is a trial as we are not even to hold on to our spouses above God. Not even ourselves.

There are two different friends of mine in hard places right now where they feel lonely and are looking for marriage. I wished I knew how to tell them that they need to focus in on Christ more first and above all. I want the best for them but the loneliness if satisfied by another is not the answer. I fear that it has become an idol for them. Who knows maybe it will help mold them into more Christlike beings, but only if Christ is there foremost. Even without a significant other church and god should come first.

We see so many things good and bad that become trials. Even coming across a lot of money can be a curse if one is not careful. Money is a good thing to seek. Marriage is a good thing to seek. But what we seek first in our hearts should be Christ and when it is not is when trouble starts.

During the trials in our life we should still seek sacred community. Marriage is a a sacred community yes, but above that is the sacred community with God. And in such a sacred community there is no room for self nor bad events, not even good events. It comes down to how we respond to any of these events.

IN fact it seems the world at large we are very irresponsible in the world and in our walks. There is no good or bad there are events yes. Things happen. Why blame God? Then why blame anyone? If someone slaps you yes you could get mad and upset and retaliate against said person. But why? I could blame so much of my upset mood on work. In fact I have so many times, who hasn't? But what does it yield? Irresponsibility. There are other avenues to take. Even taking it to the cross, to prayer, to God. But we would rather point the finger and blame something outside of ourselves.

That does not sound pleasing in a sacred community now does it? With our relationship to God he does call us.

...Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom... Isaiah 43:1-3 (New Living Translation)

This speaks volumes to me and I hope to many others. H is calling us. He is that date calling on the phone you have been waiting for. You know how it is when someone likes you, you just can;t wait until they call or email or text you these days. Same thing. Except the one who wants us did not have a phone back then but wrote a book for us. An entire book. Sheesh these day when you love someone you might write a song or poem and yet someone wrote an entire book and called us out right there for all to see and hear.

So the first step has already been set in a sacred community. We don't need the caller ID because we know who it is calling on the other side. But it isn't always peaches n fun now is it? We tend to slip back into self and forget the training for the promised land. We get sucked back int our own worlds that society loves to create. We have to take the steps back towards God always. But we slip up, we sin, we are human after all. But our hearts, are they repentant and humbly asking forgiveness or do we make excuses? Sorry I had a bad day.

You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life. John 5:39-40 (New Living Translation)

We seek him and his words but do we really truly want him? We want his presence but not bask in it? We substitute marriage, groups, projects, sermons, etc for him. Even the scripture we do not apply it or take it to him as often as we need to. We seek the eternal but not from him. Come to think of it isn't this how so many relationships work these days? I have seen many relationships ruined as they still want self first then the other comes second. They are with someone for the sake of not being alone. We are with Christ for the sake of being a “good guy.”

In all areas in life it is relational. May we seek him in all we do and come to him after we read the scripture and it strikes us may we seek him. In marriage and relationships may we seek him to glorify him and seek his ways int our lives.

I guess the underlying themes that have hit me lately are getting rid of self as it is said in scripture he who looses himself will find himself (I can't recall the verse, but I know it is in context of In Christ). He is calling me into something greater unto him and unto marriage. Into a sacred community where I am not alone and I am seeking God and walking with others.

I am being stripped of everything I know and it is being replaced by deeper wisdom. Such as marriage, I do not want it unless it is in a way to glorify God. I know how much I have wanted to for so long, but I just do not want it taking me away from God, only to draw closer to him. I grow sad with anger and am learning the denial of self for God and others.

My two friends that are lonely in this way. I know it is hard on them as I know personally it has been hard. But as a friend told me early in the year, if you want change you are going to have to become that change. But there is still something greater creating the change.

I never thought that the gospel would transform me the way it has. I knew it could but to what degree I had no clue. I would not have made anything of this apart form God and the holy spirit working in and through me. It is not I but God who has molded me. It works better when I am not resisting him though!

This last year has been a set up for the next chapter in life. Nothing new happening just continuing on day by day. God is calling us unto him. The first step has already been taken. Will we answer the call?

I know there are others out there struggling with whatever but no matter what it all is a trial. Good and bad. He will lead will we follow?