Tom Branch - Roads of Faith

Ok I think the beard will stay. I am up to 8 comments on it. I will let folks get used to it and shave it all off one day...freak 'em out all over again!

Ok Marriage, I feel it differently now. One we will not be married in heavan so it is an earthly institution yet one with guiudelines from God if we do join unto anoth in marriage. It is not here as a goal, it is a gift from God. It has got to be one of the most greatest gifts of Grace from God that we can receive on this earth, next to Christ dying for us that is.

It does teach us love by whole new means. Yet it is not the end, it still should reflect our love to God on an individual level and one on the couple level and should lead each other towards Chrst at all times, wellhumanly possible.

We make it an idol and that is just bad. We do put alot into it. Marriage is a gift, it is not ours to claim. Yet we manage to somehow.

It's like expecting figts on christman or your birthday. Why not just be there loving one another and one day when his timing is right, not ours, we may receive that gift. We do not come to him with empty hands in asking this gift so many times. It is messy, takes time and great effort. It is not something to drop in your lap. It is not something you go out and get. You must be ready for joining with another and doubling your journey towards God.

And so many of us are not ready for it. By any means. If we cannot love God unselfishly how can we love another human the same way? We don't. If we expect thigns to come to us and not seek it how can we expect one who seeks the same?

Once upon a time, school, job, wife, family...in that order was my goals, in fact that's the most basic american dream. My parents did not happen that way. And they were going to be a preacher and preachers wife. Something went wrong.

Self was in the marriage. It was two people not two joined as one. And it crmbled. I pray that I do not repeat the same thing. I feel that God has told me to look at marriage, look at my parents. If I do not want to end up with that again to seek and follow him.

My parents marriage was not what you see on tv. In fact I Want to cry when I see onscreen stuff like that. It is often shallow and selfish. Too much woman power and male chauvanism to work anything out.

Marriage is not here for us to feel good or to stop feeling lonely. We put so much into this that we miss the relationship. It is there to honor God. To follow christ.

From the convictions and growth of these last few months I see one major thing. Marriage will not happen becasue I am a good man, stud, lady's man or anything. It will not be granted on me becasue I deserve it or feel I should have someone to prevent the past from re-ocurring. I will not get a bride from her feeling sorry for me or wanting me to lead her every move (I would hope that is not the case for anyone).

No, not a one of these wil I get a wife no matter the excuse I or anyone can ever make. I will get one by the grace of God as I do not dserve one. I am not a good man I am a sinner on a very long journey from the darkness that captured me from a young age into the light that may still yet take many years to com into and only from god.

I will one day learn to love in a greater sense of the matter. And not love for a wife. Oly love towards the creator that put me here and by his grace gives me a companion to join me in the path. Much change have I gone through and will continue to go on. I, we all should rather, take solace in God and seek his love above all. I have coem to see love in a new light that I should be upset that I was given the wrong definition for so many years. it is far greater than we can ever imagine.

Far greater than we can ever conjure up or create. In fact we did not create it yet we act like we did. Just look at all the dating sites and self-help books and tv shows. Man we screwed it up. How can we love in marriage? Well so far only God can provide that love and understanding. Yet it is stil not just love for a potention spose, yet only grow in the love for he who made us and the one given to us if that be thy case.

There finally I got my marriage thoughts out there. It's been stewing for some time and who knows. At the current rate they might change yet again or grow deeper.

I think I should write a book. Not on marriage but on work and suffering. I have comeacross alot of scripture and such, I dunno if it can be used for the work of the spirit and help reach out to others in the same boat as I? It would not be too long but it would be just long enough for a small book.

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