The calm after

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The roommate issues have settled but still have yet to be resolved. But that brings me back to the next round of fun. I am still getting my new mac up to par. Then I will be able to mace ready sell of my PC and imac. To be back to just one computer will be a wild thing to happen. This one has a few glitches, but thats stuff I can change eventually. I only need two more pieces of hardware and I will be where I want to be.

But that's all surface issues. In the realm of heart I am trying to get used to all the comments I have gotten from folks lately how my life has been a blessing to them in some way or another. Even encouraging. I am not sure how to take this. I know take it well that's for sure, but it is one of those things where I just do what I am doing, it is not I but must be the spirit working in me. So that is where the thanks needs to go and not to myself. It is good to know that people are noticing. That is always a good thing.

These last few days I have slowly been coming back to God but no where near what I can or should do. My heart is just wanting to come back to here and me and that I already see a road to nowhere. But we shall see what comes of it all. But only one day at a time.

Right now everything is on hold. From the dance classes to joining others at the YMCA so that I can start walking with people and start some form of weight loss. I also was planning on taking back up the photo course I started and was not able to complete it. That is now on hold again. All these things were cheap enough to handle but they add up fast. Just fast enough for me to see that may have to go to Rent when the lease is up In November.

I guess this is where I need to trust in God so that I will not worry about things getting taken care of. After Sunday's results it should have been re-proven that things happen and present themselves when we are not looking out after our own interests. So why should any of this be any different?

But reading the Proverbs the other night I started to see a pattern. I might even do an entry on it. It would be one I would most likely preface with a warning. In fact that might be a good idea. It has even given me a chance to look into my own life and see these things first hand.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar