Even in my nap time I dreamed of the lack of gospel in my life. I know this is something that I am in need of. In fact today it would have been a good thing. Yet I chose not to have it. The process of redemption and sanctification is a long and can be a painful process.

My favorite stories are not always the good guy winiing over the bad guy, rather I do love a good story of the bad guys being redeemed or changing to good sides. My story can be such a story too. Except I was not a bad guy yet more like the renegade solo type. Sorta like Han Solo. He was all about himslf and by the end of Jedi he was there for the Alliance. In fact he was a general for them too.

I should leanr to have more faith and trusting in God more. I should make effort to apply the gospel in my every day life. Learn of my ways and starve them while I hunger for God instead. Even with work no matter how much I dislike it, I know that I am doing good. I am there when it matters. Yet God lets me know this every now and then. Even when I really am at my worst and not wanting to be there.

Yet I do the same thigns to god. I do just enough to get by but never enough to fulfill. Alas no more time to ponder away, time for a shwoer and then work. Thankfully it is my last ngiht for a few days. Tomorrow night = sleep.

Until then I pray that my dreams may still be that of the furture with God and see the man God is calling me to be. In his image.

Now the fun part is that it seems God has me traveling through the Bible. First I could not get out of Rome. I was always in Romans. Especially chapter 7. But chapter 8 comes in good with some encouragement. But I know that I am very much so in chapter 7.

But now it seems he wants me to travel to Ephesus. As now several chapters in Ephesians come to me frequently. Chapter 3-5 and mostly of the King James. THere is so much there and from what I recall sitting here at work it has to deal with understanding God. His will and how deep his love really is. Chapter 3 is very powerful and I have mentioned it several times already in a few posts.

But it has come to me a few times. Coincidence? I dunno its more of divine presence.

More to come...