Anniversary time?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005
It's hard to believe that it's been a year already...a year with Sojourn, a year back to God. This time last year I was coming down from a dream crashing. I was wanting to go to a photography school in Massachusetts but I could not afford to go. And my current roommate at the time, was it was getting bad. Then I got to take a trip to D.C for work and made a few choices to change a few things when I got back. And I did.

But my dream at that time had nothing to do with a church, nothing to do with a homeless shelter, nothing with community, no such thought as accountability nada. A dream died. And since then I have not really came up with a new one. I had to realize that things happen not of my own doing. SO now I have no plan, at least nothing specific. So to sit and look back on this last year...wow. I can't find the words for it. This also marks my second year into photography. And both have things happening.

Photography, well it still goes, it is no where near the dreams I have had during life up until now. But it's still a great place for me to be behind the lens, I love it. Yet my life outside of the lens is very different. The mid-twenties crisis...well I don't know if it is over but a different path is being taken. I still do not know what God has planned for me...other than transforming me and changing me into the man he wants me to become. Its scary, comforting, and very exciting all the same time.

Now its time to change gears and look forward. Only look for Christ in my life and not where the old self is dying.

I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.
I hope all of you who are mature Christians will agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must be sure to obey the truth we have learned already. Philippians 3:12-16 (New Living Translation)


This seems to apply very much so. I am going to have to seek a greater sense of community, let others into my life. I have been very prideful thinking with the help I did have to think I could do the rest on my own. But now I am seeing that I need others that are in Christ to help walk with me back.

Where do I feel may be some areas of calling? I know I want to serve and help in some way. This week I get to help at the leadership class by serving the sandwiches, hahah I cracked people up. They enjoyed the subs, or the way I served them? Haha it was so very much fun. I also want to get deeper at Jeff Street and help teach or even do something ministry like and show how to find God on the Internet. I want to teach and reach to others.

But one thing I have learned in this last year, stay still and the answers do come, its the patience that kills me. Even now a possible answer on the plate.....well time to meditate upon all of this. As it revolves around work...but it's still as if God is speaking to me, telling me something. I want out and he keeps telling me NO, but there may be another answer...its not about changing my surroundings, it's about changing myself, my heart.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, this is Harvey Brown.

There is a song that my maw maw used to sing:

When God closes doors,
He opens a window.
He makes a way
Where there seems to be none.

Well, then it goes on and on but you get the point, my brother. Just keep on keeping on!

Thursday, October 13, 2005 7:21:00 AM  

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar