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![]() Friday, January 12, 2007
Pretty much things have been in several places for me. I am slowly starting to bring them al together. I have been journaling old school pen an paper alot here lately. I started a list on 43things.com which is a great place for you to put down all your goals and join others in the same battle.
My journey is still going on. It is still full of valleys and peaks. But now I will have to do some fighting and following. God calls men to be the cultivators. Well this is true. I have seen how my past has kept me from moving onward in many areas. But I see that this cannot be allowed to hold me back any longer. This is not just in relationships but in everything I do. So far this year may become the first steps into the longer journey? It has been God's grace through all of this that I am still here to journey. Even in my sins he did not turn from me, yet it was I who turned from him. So it has been growingly upon my heart that the balls is in my court, it is my turn to make a move. If I do not make a 180 in this journey (make a dedicated walk) I may be set for doom. I have dreamed several times lately of snakes. From what I have broken down, this is a sign of death. Both times they were after me. I Must make a 180 in my walk. How? That has also been upon my heart lately as well. Bring others in intimately for accountability for whatever reason and letting them in on my journey. One thing I have heard comment on is my transparency in calling out sins. I just do not do it that often But it is time to bring others in on a deeper level. My new community group is wonderful. we are "gellin" very well, in fact we are like a family. And that is very important to me. I am fortunate and blessed that God has put them into my life. I have made a few changes that are yeilding some great results. I have made some changes to my diet. And diet alone I have lost a few pounds over these last two weeks. I got a steamer for Christmas and I have been cooking with it like mad. Tonight or tomorrow I will join with the YMCA and seek others that are going there so that I may join them. It is time to work on physical health. Finances are better than they were. Still needs work but I am not as tight on funds as I once was. More bills are getting paid and caught up. This is bringing releif. I made a few fashion and hygiene changes that have seemingly gone very noticed. More than I ever anticipated. I am keeping my beard trimmed and got a few nice looking shirts. I was not ready for the comments I received...but they made an impact. The biggest change is that things I once enjoyed I no longer enjoy. Or my sensitivity levels have raised since 3 years ago before I started back to church. That can mean only one thing...that God has been working on me in my life. Even in despair over things I looked back at 2006 and saw that even in the lowest of valleys there was God. There was change. Yet there was much sin and rebellion but there he was in his anger and love. His anger was there to want me to do right and his love was there to tell me I am his. This is why the dreams of the snakes speaks to me the way it does. God wants me. If I do not make some very huge first steps I will go the way of the serpent. So to speak. In despite of the idols found in my life, sins, and overall knowing that I am not a "good guy" that I am still wanted. In the bible he used some pretty dirty men for the holiest of acts. I too can be used in such ways. Basically God is trying to get it through my head he wants to be on my side if I let him. I guess it is time to send out some invites into my life. And the wife and family I want, among other prayers, God pretty much is telling me (in my own words) He aint gonna fed ex 'em over. Gotta make some good first steps...back to him. The journey is only getting deeper. Is that love or what? |
daily.verse
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) ![]() Powered by BibleGateway.com script provided by biblegateway.com
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links.tom links.other sojourn.blogs blogs.other blogroll.christian Thy way, not mine, O lord Thy way, not mine, O Lord, However dark it be; Lead me by Thine own hand, Choose out the path for me.
Smooth let it be or rough,
I dare not choose my lot;
Take Thou my cup, and it
Choose Thou for me my friends,
The kingdom that I seek
Not mine, not mine the choice ~Horatius Bonar |
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