Just rants

Saturday, October 29, 2005
TOday I just want to be lazy and dream, daydream, just be somewhere else but here bored, lazy, and unfulfilled. It is hard to even start reading. I just cannot seem to get motivated for anything. Even though tonight looks to be a great night at work since I do not have to run the posts section!!! Tranlsation I get out of work much earlier. I love that. I will help extra tonight just for not having to run sports.

But last night was a great start when I went to the class at sojourn. It really hit home as we breifly hit up the topics of work ethics sorta. Its about changing.

I wished there were more better Christian songs out there. On the radio the most part its like all pop and too much like a love song on prom night these days. I just wished I could findsomething to connect with that does not seem to make me feel more isolated.

Monday and Tuesday will be some hard up days. Monday I go to sleep Dr for sleep apnea tests, and then Tuesday I will attend an accountability group. Just to feel things out and see if this is something I wish to continue in furhter detail.

Even right now I cant seem to focus or concentrate.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar