A many a yawn...

Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I hate being tired. Seems my insomnia has decided to pay me a visit again. More frequently thant I would like for it to. Then again one visit is more than enough. So needless to say it is hard to get sellpe and wake up when I would like to. I am tired enough but too mnay thoughts running through my head.

At least this time I stayed into prayer. It didn't help speed along the slumber but it did help me work through it all and felt better focusing in on something different. I have changed my prayers slightly to help me in my relationships , well the ones for accountability and church. TO better understand, no more so to better become who I need to be, to better understand what I can do to help the other persons and gain from them. How can I provide better for them and for myself. SO really praying for the accountability and faith relationships to grow inside and out.

Also praying that things actually stick that I not forget them after reading them as one would look in a mirror and forget what they look like when they walk away. ANd searching, even better discovering who all are either lost or at least somewhere near the same path as I am. Help draw strength from one another. But I fear that I as always can't convince anyone. My faith is my own, I can share others but none seem to be able to share mine. It has been this way for a long time. But noneth less I want to keep on going into whatever direction and to whoever God leads me to. I just wished I had skills of convincing....where peoplle see past just "good ol' Tom" and nothing more.

THere seems to be some events unfolding that can either bring forth a second and mayhaps third income. But one of those can turn into a minstry. And that I am excited about. I hope to get started on that here this week so by Sunday I can have something presented or at least ioned out somewhat. Very exciting if it comes about.

Yeah I have a few downers (complaints), and I have a few possabilities (very good and exciting ones) but for now this is I strongly feel where God wants me to be. And taking things one day at a time until then is my goal.

Molding.

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar