Breathe in........easier said than done. The mood is set. Lights dim, in fact out other than the ambiance of the monitor allowing me to see while I type. An aroma of an Australian wine. Whilst I breathe in I remember that wine is the blood of christ which was shed for us and extra chills run through out all over. The sounds I have used the Internet to find my favorite radio program, Echoes only found on NPR in Lexington.

Sounds
Smell
Sight

I have failed a lot lately. I know this. I then step outside that box with one foot still in the box. Comment how wrong and bad it was, and I do it again. Is it sin? Yeah but amd I looking at it in the right light? No. I tend to keep to myself. I have let my own feelings come before God. I have god at a close second but I keep jumping back towards myself.

Wow I want to serve and worship God. I mean to let everything go for him and let it all come through. No matter what I do I am out all day playing in the mud and filthily world. And every day I come home and there he is, our father, heavenly father is there with a new white robe to give us. I drop the old filthy one and don the new one. No matter how dirty he is always there for us.

And I know I do not deserve it. How loving can one be to take me back every day? Every time? There is a plan for me. Everything has been laid out. He knocks when I think no one is home. He listens when no one else does. He hears what I am not saying.

Even as many a times I have prayed that I not be forgiven, that I know I did nor do not deserve it, but I know that I cannot make it without it. I must be forgiven. He has let me know that I am. I feel it in my heart. Even with the few stains I still have.

Always there listening. How gracious can he be? Wow how nice things are when living in him.

My burden is not great enough. I feel too safe. So safe I do not do actions. Sloth...is that it? Knowing what is right and not doing it? Through him......this is what I hear a lot lately. Through his power, his grace, his righteousness. It's not about me. Let all who are hurting come in here. Go to him, he is a healer.

I have never cried writing any of these until now. It is over whelming of his love. One day I will have to start giving back. He has love to give me. I just wished I could let him more often than I do.

My senses are having fun. I am relaxed. I feel so good right now. At least settling into a peace.