Yesterday was a bad day. Physically it was a bad day. I was dizzy and felt like I would faint. I would eat and feel somewhat better until the next episode. Yesterday sucked. Needless to say I did get somewhat freaked out.

But my heart tells me that I got too comfortable again and got back up on the pride horse again. I must be freakin great at it cuz I can do it blindly. Im a master hahaha.

But really it seems on my heart my own iniquities are weighing in. Not weighing down, but in. I think this is part of the check-up I was praying for. I may not be the best detective, but I know when something is amiss or if there is something going on. I may be wrong about what it is, but I know things are going on or not going on.

As with my faith, I am re-evaluating a great many a thing. But mainly the withdrawl from god, or my sins. I know that I feel I am doing somehting good and worthwhile but the "wannabe hero" inside may be driving the train tooo much. And therefore negating my heart's original desire and motivation.

So my heart says stop putting so much into worldy things, money (even thoguh I just want to get out of debt and then give lots away to folks who NEED it), friendships, fun, everything...unless it is through him. Focus on Him first. And the rest will start taking it's place. Even if somethng bad happens knowing it is god's will so far seems to help.

Today I am to meet for my second partnership meeting. That and hopefully go over some stuff for the Jeff Street website project. I am hoping this does well. So to make a long story short, yes things are going good, even with yesterday sucked, but I do not need to get too wrapped up in it that I forget to submit all to god. and ALL means ALLL and I think that is where I have the problem. There are a few areas that I find it rather difficult to give up to him.