Really yesterday was great. The hours of talking and sorting through things helped out a great deal. SO I have made the first steps in contacting my mother and my old friend. Two of the people I need to make peace with and have some heartfelt discussions with each of them. I do not feel as scared as I did. So by God's grace I just kinda did it. I did not go into detail just made two calls out for each of them to establish contact.

So the pawns have been set, and it's up to God now for the next step.

I guess just knowing that God planned this when I needed it just helps me so much more inwanting to face it and move onward to the next step. Even if the outcome is not very good and worse case scnario where I make contact and bad comes of it, may I realize that I need to depend on God to make it through. every day, every step.

Depend on him more than I am or have been. It's an amazing feeling but knowing that I have got to buckle down and cofront whatever comes of this now.