I almost regret ever going to college. Yet if not then I would not be where I am if I had not gone. The debt just grows. They mask themselves as helping you out to afford payments when they do not. They only make them higher or longer. At this rate I will never get out of debt.

I cannot seem to find any support for this. Dave Ramsey is the closest I have found yet no one to hold me accountable or just be there in some form if support. It seems everyone will tell you how to sepnd your money but no one will ever show you, lead by example, or even just be there supportive. This cloud never seems to go away. Even twice this year I had to go furhter in debt one with a car and the other with healthcare. Now if I could have a second full time job making the same and killing myself I can have it knocked out in a year.

Yet if I give every penny of what I make currently, it will take nearly two years. Education is a ripp off. It is a trick to go into debt and more companies are getting in on it. You pay top dollar for an education that no one is looking for without years of experience. Yet will not talk to you without that paper.

That is not why I am here tonight. It is the fact of managing finances and being steward of what God has given me. I stink at this and cannot seem to get any help. I can't do this anymore. I cannot tell myself no nor can I force myself into poverty while paying these folks off. I am growing so weary of this all. It is another factor drianing me completely.

I am also gettign so very frustrated with the work situation. My current job makes it hard for me to take a second job and creates a pinch on my health. Yet when I search for a job, hoping to find one where I can be a we bit happier than I currently am, I find nothing. I only see steps backwards in pay and thus would negate the whole meaning of job search. I am so very weary over the job and finances.

I do not know how I can ask God for help or how to make it through it. I know the one small glimpse that keeps me going, and a very miniscule glimpse at that, is gettign a hold of finances now so that I can have the financial needs for a family one day. Become a better stweard and more responsible.

I do refuse to slave my life away and get so busy as I know it would drain me and drift me furhter from God as it has before. This new year I am making it a point to tithe now. I finally have means of doing so and that actually lifts a huge weight off of me. Now just have to make sure that I do it and stick to it.

Which brings me to the next point so many times I get no followup and am left by myself to do whatever and therefore get frustrated and give up. I have so many projects I have started that I have no idea when I can complete.

I am very greatful and thankful for the words of encouragement I have recieved lately about persevering. It is gettign harder when old evils come back, and some never go away and the issue gets so big it is, well overwelming cannot do it justice as it seems more than overwelming.