Happy to be home? Yes I am. Got to take a nap and go into work, sadly yes to that as well. This mini trip was, well a disaster. It had some great thigns and even a point or two to ponder from God. Yet it was not the recharge I was seeking.

I am falling ill with the world of man. It is a prodigal return. I am filthy in a mess and want to run home to Christ with his arms wide open there waiting on me to accept me. It is time for things to change.

First off my best friend is, well our faiths are different and this is going to cause a serious rift in our reltionship. he does not belive in the bible but beleives in God. Being the close minded block head he is, I cannot speak of Christ with him. This bothers me as I cannot even get my closest friends and family to see my side, to speak of christ with them as it afalls upon deaf ears and cold hearts. Only God can do this for them. But this weekend to hear that there is a higher power and yet the bible is wrong since it cannot be proven is from God...this was too far. I wanted to come back into a world where he is accepted.

Anyways I went to watch Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and I nearly cried at the end when there was a child being born...yes I cried, it was dark in the thater and I wiped my eyes in peace hahaha, thankfully the lights were still off haha. So this made me think for real. Its time to move onward and maybe work on a christ centered family.

All I know is the more I think about this, the more I get so very angry that I want to scream. So I must remove these thoughts from my mind. I am weary and feel as far as man goes, there are none that I can...it's the holidays, no matter how much I dream or pray for it I must spend another one alone again. For days I will be alone.

I guess I will have to save this one for a podcast. Too much to type. As for now I know that I do not have the answer but a direction. Right now it only seems to come back to Christ. I guess the mid twenties crisis is over? Now a new direction os coming out of this that has even more questions than before except I feel this is where I need to grow. I would love a family so that I would not be alone again while here on earth. Yet the only way I can do that is grow into christ like-ness that only he can provide and no one else can mimic or imitate here on this world.

Several people have coem into my life this year and have made such a huge impact and I cannot be thankful enough. Yet there is one that keeps coming back into mind and I ...I dunno.

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