Tensions mounting at work. I have doen well to not give in and buying a lot of stuff. I did go ahead and pay for New Attitude conference comping up in May. NewAttitude.Org so that looks to be cool.

I do not know how to honor God in my current job situation. No one seems to be able to answer this one for me nor able to walk with me through this. And my hatred and contempt only grows. If I am the church goer it makes everything I do reflect even more poorly upon being a christian. Then I do not think I am taken seriously enough at work. As long as I show up and am perfect and make no mistakes, give no input and give everything the highest priority then I am fine.....at least they are fine with me then.

I was about to really get to some serious stuff with my community group as I still feel a lack of community, well outside the fun filled two hours each week. I feel I have none.

I think next week I am going to visit friends and family in Nashville for a day. The only day off I have, well one of two until christmas. I need the break. These next few weeks are going to be hell with work and then everyone I know being done with school are outta here for thier own families etc. So things are about to get lonley yet again at this time of year.

But the day after christmas I am so gonna have fun. No work for a week. Ahhhh

I have done more prayer even for others which is a cool thing. But I still ponder over what are god's plan for me? I just bought three cd's from Itunes, both of the Narnia cd's one with chrstian music and the other intrumental, and then Songs fro the Cross centered life, it was a cd given props from C.J Mahney's book the cross centered life.....speaking of Mahaney he and Joshua Harris and others will be at New Attitude conf here in May. More thoughts to come......

I hope to blare my ipod with plenty of new inspirational songs that help me work, drown out work's distraction and ungodliness, and hope that it does keep me reminded of his presence all day.