(no spellchecker was used...sorry)

OK night one with the machine went ok. I woke up a few more times than normal but slept none the less. 7:30 somehting and I was ready to wake up...scary thoguht. Since I did not go to bed till after 11:30. Well then again that sounds about right. This might take some getting used to for a few nights. Especially when I am clogged up with sinuses and stuff this wonderful time of the year.

Speaking of this time of the year I better switch back to the low purie diet and drink TONS more water. This is gout season for me when my sinuses dry me up and therefore make Gout more of an issue.

I did check and I am only a hundred bucks away from some serious releif financially. I thoguht I was much furhter off but I am not, I am much closer. This is great news. But also news enough to start acting a better stweard and getting finances taken care of now. So I guess I need to sit down wth my money here sometime soon and get with some planning.

We spend the whole of our lives watching ourselves. But when a man becomes meek he has finished with all that; he no longer worries about himself and what other people say. Martyn Lloyd Jones, Studies of the Sermon on the mount

THis one stands out quite a bit after reading this chapter on meekness. I am doing an online study group or book reading. THis weeks chapter was meekness. It seemd that meeness is the opposite of pride and selfishness, meekness and humble go together yet pride and slefishness do not. As just myself, I do worry alot of what others think and say about me, even with God. THink about it we are to be broken or poor in spirit where we realize we have nothing to offer God. Yet I want to offer him something and be good so my image of who I want to be in front of God is blocking me from pure meekness.

I do have some meek and humble qualities, yet there are some that I do not deny. So this is a greater challenge this meekness is. In fact I could go months talking of mekness just that one chapter, that one beatitude as it is so dep within itself. It was convicting enough that it refers me beack to the first beatitude of being poor in spirit, then mourning my sins before I can get to the meekness.

Now mourning and death....the whole process of mortification is hard to truely understand, I guess especially so for christians. As just for myself to end things alot of times seems bad if we cherish or hold something dear...yet this can be bad that we hold on to things and not move onward...thinking of today rather than tomorrow....I can't recall the verse but it is in Phillipians. This too I am convicted of, trying to make things here last when it is said in scripture that it wil not.