Well and after yesterdays outlook I then got several responses to one of my other prayers and congeners about tithing. One can only chalk stuff up to coincidence so many times. There is divine happenings going on. Once again a prayer well an answer, a direction....seek and ye shell find right? Well They came to me instead of me finding them. It's just wild how that does occur.

The tithing falls under the finances, then there is the lust issues, self denial (or lack thereof) are the huge issues. The ones eating away....no the ones that start a block in my faith. Yet I am tearing down more than I am building up. Tear down two blocks of sin and tear down one. Every brick one at a time.

Today was well mixed. I had to take the car in early to the dealer, after getting home at 3am, be at the dealer at 9am, so I was up at 8am, caught the bus at 10am, got off downtown, walked 5 large blocks in less than 20 minutes (with two traffic lights stopping me) then caught the bus back home and got here near 12. Took nap, went to get car, took nap (naps were 1 hour in length) and cooked up some horrible food idea.

Now sitting here in pondering when to take a shower to get ready for group tonight. Just looking back on things. Knowing that I will have to venture into the darker waters and overcome some battles. Turbulence it can be called. I think much of the root of things is selfishness. Why else do I not say no when I ought to?

So I have tried thinking of others more such as helping at Jeff street Men's shelter and moving folks etc. Becoming involved in other peoples lives or at least being there has helped. As I seemingly lessen the selfishness. I start to look around me and upwards. I still have a long ways to go but this is where I really falter in my walk. This is one area I need constant prayer on in order to overcome this.

I need to realize that God will provide as he always has. I need to let him, and when he does I need to go with the flow. Drawing upon his strength and grace to enable us to overcome whatever mess we get ourselves in is, well awesome. I am starting to redefine that word. As when it happens in it's true form words cannot express it. Only feelings can feel awesome, not words.

I do thank all those who left kind words on the last few blogs. The one that stuck out was the one about taking care of the Lord's tenth....am I giving back to him and through him enabling giving to others? Draw to him to replace lust, greed, and pleasures that I seemingly keep trying to take care of myself, sounds like pride to me. Great thoughts.

Breathe. Smile. Cry. Jump. Scream. Shout. Live.