Tom Branch - Roads of Faith

I really didn't want to post that last entry, but I did anyways. It seems that the closer I draw to God and understand his mercy and grace the more I dread over sin. Mourn and wail almost.

Which is good as it shows I am becoming more aware. Some desires and sins are easier to battle off, some are not. I still am just listening and observing trying to hear what god is telling me.

Actually I am kinda out of it right now. I was reading more of every man's battle" and it seems to be very ailienating. It is great as it does give more insigts and a christian marriage. Actually some of it has been very enlightening. But it seems to keep on from that "married" aspect than the single aspect. And I am so tired of being reminded how single I am. So my struggles are not theones that the book is trying to fight against.

I know for many years I would not say not to myself and be good to me and get the things I wanted. Becasue if I didn't who would? Now I know it is God who will. But I seemingly picked up some habits that are hard to break.

I know that I am not alone...anymore. At least in spirit anyways. It seems like I am fussing with God alot to have things my way or struggle in telling myself no. Especially when it sinks on me more and more of what is his will and what does or does not bring glory to him.

It's almost like I am living in star wars 5, The empire strikes back....this is the part where everyone's character seems to get more defined by so many events happening at once. Not saying I am loosing but I am in the middle of some serious changes and I am notthe same character I was in the first part...so-to-speak.

It sucks that I missed group last night, I think I needed it, but now this gives me time to go over the notes myself. I guess all of this is an overwelming feeling inside me goin on right now. Which is good, it means I am working though something....no God is working me through something.

Back to listening.

...no spellcheckers were used

3 Comments:

Sage_Muse said...: Talk about food for thought! Very interesting post. I struggle with the same, as you saw on my post...everyday I am reminded about my single status. Right now its totally not what I want, but apparently, its what God feels I need.

I am starting to see that single life...its not totally a bad thing. I've begun to focus on what is important, my family and me. Focusing on yourself is not bad. If you are anything like me, I spent so much time making others happy that I lost my identity. Now, I find that I am a better mother, daughter, sister and friend.

The religious struggle...that is one that i think I will continue to work on. My journey began last summer. In my head I believe that I have been "saved", in my heart I don't htink I am. I still doubt and question God's will. If in my heart I was truely saved, all my concerns and fears would be released to him and I wouldn't be in the state that I am in right now. I've grown all I can right now, I now seek fellowship. Kind of a hand to hold and shoulder to cry on spiritually. I read the bible every night but it just doesn't "fill the glass" as it did before.

Thank you Tom for posting on my blog. I've enjoyed reading yours as well.; Sunday, May 08, 2005 4:41:00 PM
Sage_Muse said...: By the way...how'd you run across my blog???; Sunday, May 08, 2005 7:46:00 PM
Tom said...: Yeah it seems that there for a long time withough anyone to talk to or sort through these ideas it was hard to grow spiritually. But from the blog and getting in touch with a few people from my church I have really started growing, well not growing, but maturing in christ. Understanding that I have had a limited faith for so long that I had it but did not understand it. My journey began many years ago, but recently, back in October it really started again.; Sunday, May 08, 2005 9:03:00 PM

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