...or show me the new direction. I hear great things in a sermon that I can reflect upon. SHould, need, and want to reflect upon and I can't. The effects are lossed either form the start or soon after the sermon. Why? Becasue I go into work and force my body to stay up later hours than it wants to. I hate work as it is one factor taking me away from God. I can be a christian working here as long as I do not talk of God. Otherwise I am asking for a bad day and being spoken to in a condensending manner. God's word and wisdom does not seem to be welcome here. Only perfection in the human world. So many time I have been wron out from work that I cannot hear God let alone want to see him.

I want to be happy, at least not suffer like I am. This place I cannot hold my tounge, and am quick to anger and fast to speak words that should not be spoken. I am weak, I cannot make it here. I have fought this long battle for so long and no longer want to fight it. I just want it to stop. I want to feel good about the work I do again, I want to be taken seriosuly, I want to tell people I am a chrsitian without being taken as a joke. As if I am trying to become closer to God but still cuss at work, or not hold my tounge as it says in James my faith is worthless. And working here, it is worthless.

I just want to feel worth again.

Please I hope and pray to find another job, and pray for others to get out of jobs in simialr situations. We were not meant to hate working, were we? I know its supposed to be work, but its been so fouled and flithed by sin.

Well I have some christian mp3's on my ipod, so hopefully I shall feel better here in a lil bit.

I pray.