Yesterday was a good sermon while it lasted. And it was only my fault it happened that way. Then again there were a few factors working against me. First off I wake up after 3pm, had just enough time to cook and could ntoeat but a few bites, shower then go to sojourn.

When I get there I realize I forgot my wallett. And knowing I had to go to work without time to get ready or an hour or two of "me" time to space out and prepare for it. So wake up, eat, show, church work.....my day was already over and it just begun.

So since I could not eat I got a headache and became easily irritable. Then my sinuses decided to start getting clogged so it was hard to breath during service. I almost had to start breathing through my mouth. So it was hard to focus and let it all in. And the sermon did hit home very well in one of the verses we read.

Then after sermon where we all socialize and grub on junk food I just wasnt there becasue I knew I was so close to having to be at work I just was not in the best of moods. In fact I was so upset I walked away in the middle of a conversation and left.

So I went home got my wallet and sat down for a few minutes and prayed. Then went into work.

Well so far the good news is I got out of there in good timing around 2:30 so I went home and to bed. Now today I woke up around noon so I have time to wake up, clean, chill and plenty of me time and devotional time before I go help out at the homless shelter tonight. And this is good. But yesterday I could not get the sermon to sink in like it could have. Even though I was feeling a mood change and good there for the first few minutes of the sermon. So sermon went in and then went out.

Work at night is so draining. But now on to the sermon. This is what I shall meditate on and bounce around here for a few days.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many of you were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. (1 Cor 26-27 NIV)

The underlined part is what hit me. I can't seem to influence my closest friends or family sometimes. We are all hard headed. And I fell that If I cannot help them then I will loose them. If I ask to know if they can be saved or not then that is the same to ask who goes to heavan or hell. And I don't want to know either.

But if I cannot persude or influence my closest to Christ then who will? Or am I to? How can I? I guess this is where my internal conflict and struggle will go for a day or two. But I guess what is best is ti live by example....and I am still far far far from it, but I am much closer than I have ever been.

.meditate