As I still stand looking at the mirror I can see the two still standing there, one clear and a feeling of bound, and the otehr a feeling a peace. Yet one I see clearly even thoug I see not what he does. The other is still standing there, non threatful and in peace.

I put on my glasses to see better. As I am just as bling without than I am with. I see that there is still fog surrounds the new man. The one that I wish to become, if only to talk to him. I try to speak, to wave, to get attention but cannot. The other person, the one that is clear is shouting so loud I cannot hear. Cannot think and has me so bound I cannot go to him.

So I shall still seem him even though surrounded by thick fog and clouds it still feels good and right. For a moment I stop and look back at the one that has me bound. For he is my master. I am a slave into my own desires, sins, misdeeds, and foolish judgements. I am the one blocking the path.

This mirror is the mirror of Masters. Thou shalt not serve two masters. I am serving one and trying to go another. In order to save my own life, I must loose it. Just as a Phoenix, will go down in flames to be born again to arise anew, so must I.

Yet I already did that. I already had one watery death and arose new, but the same white slate can still get just as dirty as before I went under, but still never the same no matter how dirty after coming from the water.

How can I wash this off? Wash away my master of myself. For the master wants to give me this new life and calls me to it. Yet I cannot seem to get away from it. I cannot break the mirror but can I walk through it.

ALl in short, I see there is a man I am wanting to become and am becoming. But I am still holding back onto something. What I do not know. Being back at church after two weeks felt great. That and the partnership classes. Maybe now I can take the next leap into the mirror so to speak. I think tomorrow I shall call off my plans with a firend to go to an easter pagent. I'm sure it will be great but I feel I need a day of rest and reflection. I have a few things I need to make note of and learn to let them go and walk away.