Still looking in a mirror...
Saturday, March 05, 2005
...still I dont like what I see. The outer looks bad but the innner looks good wanting to get out but I just can't let it be. I know there is so much to do and I guess I am really in a mid twenties crisis. Still to young to be taken seriously, and too old to be considered young....well somewhat.

Where does god want me to go? Why can't I let go and let it just be? What am I holding onto? What am I scared of?

I am thankful for the unanswered prayers though. It seems that patience does pay off as I learn more about others and anything really. I really just need to emrace that more. That things do happen for a reason, and even though I cannot see them I should still take that leap of faith and let it be...but I just can't or don't want to let go.

Even though I have no idea why or what I hold onto.

posted by Tom at 8:40 PM

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“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15)  listen to chapter  (Read by Max McLean. Provided by The Listener's Audio Bible.)

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord

    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar