Still looking in a mirror...
Saturday, March 05, 2005
...still I dont like what I see. The outer looks bad but the innner looks good wanting to get out but I just can't let it be. I know there is so much to do and I guess I am really in a mid twenties crisis. Still to young to be taken seriously, and too old to be considered young....well somewhat.

Where does god want me to go? Why can't I let go and let it just be? What am I holding onto? What am I scared of?

I am thankful for the unanswered prayers though. It seems that patience does pay off as I learn more about others and anything really. I really just need to emrace that more. That things do happen for a reason, and even though I cannot see them I should still take that leap of faith and let it be...but I just can't or don't want to let go.

Even though I have no idea why or what I hold onto.

posted by Tom at 8:40 PM

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord

    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar