Looking into a mirror...

Saturday, March 05, 2005
...I see two people once is myself as I am. Many layers, very difficult to determine what or who I am. Too many aspects and reasons for them all. Just too much to see from the outside, only after seeking inward a very long journey would I then be able to understand why I am who I am. Very twisted and complex man.

I see in the other reflection a happy man, much more simple, a follower, happy, content, and peaceful. There is a smile on his heart as well as face. But the views of him are very clouded. I cannot make out who or what he is.

I see that in both reflections that of who I am and that of who I want to become, who I am being called to be...and netierh even clear nor cloudy can I truly see and understand.

Two lives, two paths, I much choose one of them with blind faith. I know the one I want but and chained to the other. more to come...

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    Thy way, not mine, O lord


    Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
    However dark it be;
    Lead me by Thine own hand,
    Choose out the path for me.

    Smooth let it be or rough,
    It will be still the best;
    Winding or straight, it leads
    Right onward to Thy rest.

    I dare not choose my lot;
    I would not, if I might;
    Choose Thou for me, my God,
    So I shall walk aright.

    Take Thou my cup, and it
    With joy or sorrow fill,
    As best to Thee may seem;
    Choose Thou my good and ill.

    Choose Thou for me my friends,
    My sickness or my health;
    Choose Thou my cares for me
    My poverty or wealth.

    The kingdom that I seek
    Is Thine: so let the way
    That leads to it be Thine,
    Else I must surely stray.

    Not mine, not mine the choice
    In things or great or small;
    Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
    My Wisdom, and my All.

    ~Horatius Bonar